Friday, August 23, 2013

Art Therapy Introduction Workshop I

Nearly all journeys,

       Into the creative side of writing are uniquely besieged by dark tides. Some adventures are riddled with writer's block which can send your dreams down a porcelain throne if you're not diligent to continue writing; this is also true of those who finish a first or third draft of a work they deem 'magnificent' or 'a game changer in their creative realm' and thus give up their dedication to their craft in order to persuade others to produce or sponsor their project.

      There are countless instances of artists being plagued by external avenues of time theft. Whether that be f(r)iend or arch nemesis if your ever presence fails and you delay ever long, there may come a time when you walk back to the door of your dreams... You find it locked, thus you begin knocking, no one responds. Therein is silence, the pattern of creative beauty is no longer at home in any landscape of your mind.

      The achievement at the quest's end, to make merely enough to continue writing, unhindered. Mine began with an accident, well two to be exact. The first was that of my body being damaged beyond diagnosis. I was twenty three years old when, at work, a fork lift came round the bend of pallets. In a fright the driver lurched and I was struck by the tusks and sent falling into said stacks of pallets. All would have been well if the young lad had merely looked ahead, as I did, slowing in the tight bend.

     No diagnostic tool, from bone to cat of scans, conjured results of my injury and for nearly a year I was overcome with pain and the mental haze of pain killers. Finally I simply began stretching and holding yoga poses at home from a book I got second hand at a charity shop.

     Out of money and no where to live, having no f(r)iends from a bullied lonely youth and subsequent useless young adulthood I began to write. Words streamed out of me as poetically infused prose journal entries. What I read was imaginative empathy trapped in the horrors of the rage inside. At the hand of chance's fate I ended up across the country working for a massive corporation and quickly began moving up the ladder, though not so swiftly of pay grade and the writing all but came to a screeching halt.

     Then the second accident happened, I believed a lie. A creature unimaginable floated by as butterfly, beauty on one side but decrepit on the other. Sadly everyone that knew her believed she was at very least, normal, thus so did I. In the presence of a therapist/counsellor years down the road I heard her say 'I hid things from him and lived that way because I never trusted him.'

     What I had to offer, she wanted, the comfortable life of a sedated pacifist. But my creative rage instilled words would not be quelled by the offer of sex; after all I had barely touched her realized her deviant ploy the day after she moved in and we weren't physical before that...  Alas for the deadly mask of lies that came off immediately in betrayal. The line was clear 'If you weren't even interesting in meeting my needs, so I had someone else do it.'

     Now I write endlessly, after recognition and a lengthy recovery of multiple mental illnesses rebuilding my body from injury and the plague of dead confidence, deadly self loathing esteem and an eating disorder, the too thin of shell kind, I am now nearly 'normal.'

Prescription's Decline

Vivid delirium nonsense
Conquest of a protagonist
Salient infantry private in uniform
Regular patient of the bomb shelter
Cold sirens dilute all daylight
Distress method of destiny
Integrate lucid anomalies
Gas ruined breathing
Lobotomy's silence
Failure of strategy
Mend in death

Medication on notice
Paranoia attention decline
Deficit lost profit disorder
Monetary guilt trip up in arms
Toxins under forced recovery sheets
Prevail against peaceful sleep
Sinking in a red tide of sweat
Ocean of beads skin fallen
Pills bleeding prescription
Sedated in overdose
Pills will prevail...  

The first half a poem, one of many thousands.

     At least I'm stable and carry only the baggage that helps mend others through spoken word, lyrics, podcasts and prose poetry. I live to write and write to die, empty. In hopes that the journeys I craft will help others in some way. Through social issues read from various online news sources to the hearing of a tragic story first hand, I write about what seems to matter; equality, domestic violence, mental illness, prejudice, injustice, love, mother earth, father time and artificial intelligence, a cyborg holding the last human's hand in the end.

      For one it might be realizing and confronting a grievous wound or explicit deep scar trauma. For others it might be witnessing in their minds the sorrows of others, unable to change the node on the dial or alter the channel to escape the imaginary landscape adventure.

     Whether it's being able to identify with others in a new and beautiful, empathetic to non pacifist way after being stolen away on a journey through tragedy, loss or mourning or the realization that they are or have indeed suffered and confront that reality, possibly for the first time... Hope is the prescribed outcome, that is my only hope.

Bipolar Beauty

Paralysed bipolar look up scene
Beauty trapped in fire infused sand
Mirror amplifies the psychosis
Derangement not by choice
Furniture inside deforms
Despite the prescription
Still hallucinating

Abnormal scientific referral
Accepted terms for testing
Abrasive codex of dignity
Accidental manic prey

Bipolar schizophrenic shallow breathing
Darkness of the mind depressive
Sworn to psychosis secrets
Trapped in her own head
Yet she is defined...
By illness instead of beauty

     Where does your mending begin? On a train home from work after Baring Witness to an audacious conversation between two gossiping quacks? In a school room after taking in the impact of a lesson spoken by some random workshop poet scheduled in for the day? After some traumatic misery signal that was the sign you prayed or hoped for that would spark you to change... But sadly you didn't until it was too late?

       There is no such thing as writer's block, there is just being stuck. Persevere, write on and create despite the lack of inspiration, you'll never know what you might craft if you believe you're stuck and don't make a move forward in your creative endeavours.

      There is no such thing as being tone deaf, when your mother calls you over the phone, you know who it is... You can instantly tell by her tone whether or not she is happy, upset, sad or frustrated. Slowly apply this to your own voice and you too can learn to sing in beautiful tones of melody.

      The point is, don't stop creating before you've started just because someone informed you or some media state of ill propaganda fed to you throughout you life instilled a belief that 'you cannot... because.' Unlearn such non-sense and begin mending, healing, scoping out your own wounds to scar them over, cauterize them and slowly heal.

     We can never be perfect for ourselves or our partners, but we can be complete in our selves. They can help the mending process, but only we can complete ourselves... Through acceptance.

Baring Witness

    Crows gossip beside me, murder stains their beaks, vermilion scales of painted red dance like pawns cursing a game they never meant to play, sinisterly calm in year long trenches of venomous speech,  paper wire tapping idle of response unstable personalities bounding ridicule against f(r)iends through parasitic liquid revenge sworn unto death seething from the mouth of hate...

In earnest anticipation of,